MMSM: Keeping Up Appearances

Check out my friend Shannon's blog carnival. This week she chose a movie quote from Some Kind of Wonderful to inspire us.

Keith: You can’t judge a book by its cover.
Watts: No, but you can tell how much it's gonna cost.
Keith: Wow, I never knew you were so deep.
Watts: You want shallow, call Amanda Jones.

If you remember, Amanda Jones was part of the rich, popular crowd, but really came from the same part of town as Keith and Watts. She was willing to beg, borrow, or steal (or sleep with someone) to stay part of this crowd. Sometimes I wonder what we are willing to do to keep up appearances.

Last week for MMSM I wrote about perspective and comparing yourself to others. Another reason not to compare your life to another's is because appearances can be deceiving. Sometimes I read all these blogs about wonderful women with wonderful families and wonderful lives. And then I realize that while all I read could be true, it could just as easily be false, or at least not representative of the whole story. If I compare myself to some bloggers out there I will always come out on the losing end. But I don't really know those people, and they could have many challenges that they choose not to write about. And IRL (in real life) you don't always know people as well as you think either. Those perfect families you see at church aren't always perfect. And even in a friend or couple that you know well - what are they hiding to keep up the appearance of everything being okay?

Some people and families are very honest and unpretentious (see Shannon's post) and wouldn't dream of putting forth an appearance that is misleading. But for most people, the natural man leads us to care about what others think of us (more than what God thinks of us). And we are willing to beg, steal, borrow, or lie to create or maintain that image we want. Some live beyond their means, racking up debt in order to live and portray a certain lifestle. Some ignore problems in their marriages or with their children to avoid judgement from others. At the very least, almost all of us are willing to keep quiet about certain unflattering personality traits. Not everyone needs to know that my laziness keeps my house in a perpetually dirty state.

Keeping up appearances isn't always bad. I'm happy to see a friend looking her best by keeping up her highlights, eyebrow plucking, shaving, and self-tanning. But I need to make sure people know the real me enough to love me for who I am. That's where Amanda Jones went wrong, she changed herself too much to be accepted for who she was (except by Keith). And she allowed herself to be blinded by the appearance of the popular crowd - she couldn't see them for the shallow, manipulative people they really were.

See, good lessons can be found in all manner of movies. What are you willing to do to keep up appearances and maintain your image?

Fight the Frump, A Testimonial

Just a quick testimonial this week, a reminder to myself (and hopefully you) why I need to keep Fighting the Frump. For lots of great tips, check out all the links at Fussy's blog.

I hauled my three young boys to Sam's Club this week for a marathon trip that I'm hoping will negate any need to go for a couple months. While I was there, I ran into some old family friends. This couple still spends time with my parents and I see them occasionally, but haven't seen their kids for years. These are the kind of people who always look great, in fact, I'm quite intimidated by the girls in this family, who are all close to my age. Three of them have a hair salon - the kind that charges hundreds of dollars and only takes appointments a month in advance. Needless to say, they don't even know what frumpy means, despite having children of their own.

I had run out the door to Sam's without fighting the frump that day. I didn't look completely awful, but definitely frumpy. These old friends of mine are not the kind to judge, thank goodness. They spent ten minutes catching up with me and oohing over my kids, who looked fabulous. We all left with smiles. But... I know I would have felt so much better if I was looking great. Some make-up and a cute top probably would have left them saying, "Oh, Tara looked good, and her baby is only two months old." Rather than thinking I looked like my same old frumpy self.

In contrast - we had an emergency trip to the doctor last week (just an ear infection). Somehow I had managed to get myself ready first thing that morning, including make-up and cute hair. And the boys were all dressed to the shoes. So when the doctors office asked if we could come right in, I could say yes with confidence.

In conclusion - although I am not always successful at fighting the frump, I will keep trying. Sometimes my need for sleep wins out over getting up early to shower and stuff. But soon my baby and the other boys will be on a more regular schedule, hopefully - and I can work in a daily dose of fighting the frump. Because I want to. And I sure need it!

Recipe Box Swap: 40 Cloves and a Chicken

Man, seems like I can't find the time to post these days unless I really make the effort for a blog carnival. But I've even missed the Works for Me Wednesdays for the last two weeks. I didn't want to skip this carnival though, The Recipe Box Swap, hosted by I Have To Say. Too bad she only has it every few weeks, but that's apparently all I can handle anyway.

This recipe is courtesy of Alton Brown, who is a favorite of Aaron's (okay, me too). Although when we watch I always feel stupid because Alton breaks out all the chemistry explanations and Aaron always understands better than me - even though I'm the one with a chemistry degree. Turns out Aaron has way more practical sense than me, who's suprised?

We love making this chicken when we're having people over, because it's so tasty and a little bit impressive. And key words - super easy. I will post the actual recipe here, but we often just used chicken quarters. Just use something with skin on, you'll get tons more flavor. Don't forget to cover the dish - I forgot once and it was kind of dry.

40 Cloves and a Chicken

1 whole chicken (broiler/fryer) cut into 8 pieces
1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons olive oil
10 sprigs fresh thyme
40 peeled cloves garlic
salt and pepper

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Season chicken with salt and pepper. Toss with a 2 tablespoons olive oil and brown on both sides in a wide fry pan or skillet over high heat. Remove from heat, add oil, thyme, and garlic cloves. Cover and bake for 1 1/2 hours.

Remove chicken from the oven, let rest for 5 to 10 minutes, carve, and serve.

Fight the Frump: Skirt the Issue

It's Friday and time for this fabulous blog carnival with Mrs. Fussypants. Check out all the tips here.

One way I love to fight the frump during the summer, which is nine months long here in Arizona, is to wear a lot of skirts. There's just something about wearing a skirt that says, "I wore this on purpose. I didn't just throw on whatever was on top of the pile." I love that skirts can be dressed up or down depending on the top and shoes you wear. And I love that skirts allow for cool breezes to reach all your nether regions. I wore a lot of skirts while I was pregnant in Florida and have been a believer ever since.

I favor the cotton version, regular or stretchy knit, for comfort and versatility - but other fabrics are great too. I love thelook of linen but there's that whole ironing thing. Dress up your favorite skirt with a nice blouse and heels, or keep it casual with your favorite tee and flip flops.

Last week when Shannon was here she wore a great brown, knit skirt. We also hit Costco and ended up splitting a 2-pack of knit pants that I will use for PJs and exercising. Shannon wore them the next day and somehow they looked like different pants on her, very non-frumpy. Of course she looks better than me in almost everything. Including the several items of clothing that looked great on me one or two kids ago, which I passed on to her. Just doing my part to fight the frump.

Here is a sampling of skirts I found on the internet in just a few minutes this afternoon. They aren't particular favorites of mine, but I liked them all - they come from many different price ranges. Skirts come in so many different styles - find one that works for you!

Dell to the Rescue

Remember when I posted last December about how my laptop totally crashed, and then the Lord granted me a miracle and it started working again. It's still going, but has been crashing again lately. Aaron called me from work a couple weeks ago and said, "I bought you a new computer." I was like, okay - thanks for consulting me. But really I was so glad he didn't. Sometimes I think I'm all computer saavy, and sometimes I think I'm not - but sometimes I just don't care! Thanks, honey, for taking care of it for me. And the new system arrived yesterday, to be installed by Aaron and I last night. Couldn't afford to get a laptop with all the stuff we wanted, so I'm back to being chained to my desk. Hopefully the laptop will keep working as long as possible to allow wonderful things like surfing the internet in bed and IMing with Shannon while I watch tv. You know, for all the critical moments during American Idol. Although now we are in different time zones and it's killing me.


I'm discovering that I hate some of the colors of my new blog themes with my new fancy monitor- they are so ugly. Anyone else think that too?